Teen Wants to Become a Father

I was having Bible study with a group of incarcerated teens when one 16-year-old asked if he could speak with me privately after we finished.

Later he told me he is considering getting a girl pregnant. He wanted my opinion, because he’d already talked with his parents. They both think he is at a good age to become a father.

I asked, “Who is going to support your child?”

He said, “Ohhhh—It’ll all work out.”

I asked him if he was serious about the decision he’d made just 15 minutes earlier, to turn away from sin and to give his life to Jesus Christ.

He said, “Yes! Absolutely!”

I said, “If you are serious about obeying God, then you need to wait until marriage before you start a family.”

His response, “Marriage?   But I’m too young to get married!”

I just looked at him.

He said, “Are you saying, you don’t think I should have a kid yet?”

I said, “God’s desire for you NOW,  is to grow into a mature man of God, who loves and serves the Lord Jesus.  Someday you will want to marry a woman who shares your faith. Your children are to come after your marriage, not before.”

He was quiet for a moment, then said, “OK. I’ll wait.”

  • The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel. Proverbs 12:15

 [Does this boy’s question surprise you?  Would you have responded differently?  To leave a comment, simply click on the story’s TITLE, then scroll down to “Leave a Reply.”]


[This life is temporary. This life is short.  When this life is over, our bodies will die and become empty shells, but our souls will continue to live forever.  Where will the “real you” live?  Will you live for all eternity separated from God?  Or will you spend eternity in the presence of God in heaven?   Learn more so you can make your most important decision:    http://www.whoisjesus-really.com/  and www.godlife.com


About Kathleen

God delights in working through His people as they submit to Him. Jesus said to go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone (Mark 16:15). No matter where we live on this planet, people are separated from God because of sin. We ALL need a Savior, and there’s only ONE. It brings me great joy to share Christ with the lost and lonely. Over the years I’ve learned a great deal while facilitating Bible studies. I’ve found myself on college and university campuses, the beach, the streets, the hospital, the jail and the juvenile facility for incarcerated teens sharing God’s message of love. I also serve as an online missionary with Global Media Outreach. I’ve seen countless lives transformed when people turn away from sin and turn to Jesus. The changes God makes are real and lasting. These are some of my experiences. NOTE: My stories have been altered, removing any and all identifying factors. This includes names and other particulars in order to protect confidentiality and anonymity.
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17 Responses to Teen Wants to Become a Father

  1. Becca says:

    I would have answered exactly as you did! By taking Jesus as our Lord, we become eager to please Him. And His desire is for us to grow as Christians. Suddenly, nothing earthly – no matter how important it seems – is important, because He is the only thing that is eternal. I love your posts! Keep up the good work! :))

    • Kathleen says:

      Thank you Becca! I do believe this teen wants to please God. I honestly don’t think he considered this as wrong, especially since his parents encouraged him. So many young people are confused these days. It’s sad.

  2. Linda Simson says:

    Yes, this boys question was quite shocking! It’s hard to imagine any 16 year old boy even asking you, and his parents, if he “should” impregnate a girl! And the fact that he was clueless about the order of events, (Marriage first, then children) is incredible, and his parents encouraging him was just apalling!!! I am grateful he at least realized he wasn’t ready for marriage. You gave wise counsel Kathleen. I just wonder if inwardly when he asked you this question if you were as shocked and appalled as I am.

  3. Deb says:

    Great and important conversation Kathleen. Old enough to be a father, but not to get married. He’s blessed to have someone like you, to share the truth with him. And I agree, praise God that he was willing to listen and receptive to God’s truth. blessings!

  4. Jeannie says:

    I remember when I was 17 and my boyfriend was 16 we got engaged with a diamond and all. A godly and very loving woman from church wrote us a very kind letter and we opted to be offended…. I would write the same letter today or share along your thoughts. Going forward with our decision only impeded our relationship with Jesus and we were a divorced couple by 25. Words of loving wisdom are priceless! If only we had listened!

    • Kathleen says:

      Thank you for sharing a heartbreaking story. I’m sorry that happened, but perhaps your story will help others contemplating the same. There is much folly in youth, especially when they refuse godly counsel.

  5. David madsen says:

    Thank GOD that young boy had you sacrificing your time to do the great commission. What were his parents thinking? Oh yeah, they weren’t. Keep up the good work faithful servant .

  6. Stuart Tutt says:

    Wow! I can’t believe his parents would say that it is ok to get a girl pregnant at that age. But I won’t get into that can of worms.

    I would not have answered any differently than you did. You gave him plenty to think about once you said the word marriage.

    His outlook will change as the Lord works in his life.

    Thank you so much for ministry with teens!

    • Kathleen says:

      Thank you, Stuart! Yes, his parents’ attitude was appalling. But what especially caused me to shudder was when I asked him who would support the child. His answer…”Oh, it’ll all work out.” More proof that he was not ready.

      • Stuart Tutt says:

        I would guess he would be assuming that his or her parents would take care of the child both physically and financially…and that is so sad.

        Heck, I was a grown man of 36 years and still not prepared for everything having a child meant much less the sacrifices that would come.

        • Kathleen says:

          Honestly, I don’t think he was expecting parents to help. More likely, once the girl is pregnant, he’s thinking she and the child will be entitled to government assistance. Like he said…Oh, it’ll all work out!

  7. Frank King says:

    Surprising his parents responded the way they did. Given that fact that the teen was brought up in the home of parents so out of touch with reality, I guess it should not be surprising that the teen’s thinking was so out of touch. It’s a good thing that he came to you and shared his intentions so God could use you to challenge his thinking.

  8. April Boyer says:

    His question was appalling, and his parent’s response was more so. I have to wonder what culture he lives in. I am glad he came to you Kathleen, and that you are a minister of the word of God!

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