Don’t Say “I Love You” for Six Months?

When our young friends Susan and Mark were dating, they read a book together.  It suggested that couples not discuss marriage for six months.

“Nor should one say, ‘I love you’ for six months.  In fact, you should not say, ‘I love you’ until you can say, ‘Will you marry me?’ in the next breath.”

Six months after their first date Mark asked Susan’s father for her hand in marriage, before he had proposed to Susan.

Shortly after their engagement Susan mentioned that she and Mark could no longer kiss.
“But why? You’re getting married.”
“We can’t handle it!  So from now until the wedding, it’ll just be a peck on the cheek and a hug.”

How rare is this! Yet I know four young couples who so desired to maintain a God-honoring courtship, that they refused any sexual contact until after marriage. Moreover, all four couples reserved their first kiss for their wedding day.

Today it is not unusual for some couples to engage in sexual activity on the first date!  Yet I also know there are many young people choosing to obey God and do the right thing.  Is it easy?  Not at all!

God blesses us when we obey Him.  After all, if we really love God, we will obey Him.

  • Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.     Romans 12:1-2
  • If you love me, keep my commands.     John 14:15
  • I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in obedience to all I command you, that it may go well with you.     Jeremiah 7:23
  • SONG: SEVEN TIMES A DAYBy Kathleen and Ps. 119 & 2 Thess 3:6

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[This life is temporary. This life is short.  When this life is over, our bodies will die and become empty shells, but our souls will continue to live forever.  Where will the “real you” live?  Will you live for all eternity separated from God?  Or will you spend eternity in the presence of God in heaven?   Learn more so you can make your most important decision:  and


About Kathleen

God delights in working through His people as they submit to Him. Jesus said to go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone (Mark 16:15). No matter where we live on this planet, people are separated from God because of sin. We ALL need a Savior, and there’s only ONE. It brings me great joy to share Christ with the lost and lonely. Over the years I’ve learned a great deal while facilitating Bible studies. I’ve found myself on college and university campuses, the beach, the streets, the hospital, the jail and the juvenile facility for incarcerated teens sharing God’s message of love. I also serve as an online missionary with Global Media Outreach. I’ve seen countless lives transformed when people turn away from sin and turn to Jesus. The changes God makes are real and lasting. These are some of my experiences. NOTE: My stories have been altered, removing any and all identifying factors. This includes names and other particulars in order to protect confidentiality and anonymity.
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10 Responses to Don’t Say “I Love You” for Six Months?

  1. Frank says:

    Thanks for sharing, Kathleen. It’s good to know that there are youths in our sexually promiscuous society who have chosen to refrain from sexual activity until marriage. It’s not easy, but God is more than able to help them succeed.

    • Kathleen says:

      You’re right, Frank. It’s not easy, but once we become followers of Jesus, we are given the Holy Spirit–and He supplies us with self-control!

  2. Linda Simson says:

    We too, were blessed to have a daughter with such convictions. She also reserved her first kiss for her wedding day. Holding hands and shoulder hugs were as close as she would get with her intended. They did attend a marraige seminar first, and went through marital counseling with the pastor who mentored her intended, but it was actually the book, I Kissed Dating Good-by that brought about their convictions that “love can wait.” I realize there are people on both sides of the fence regarding this, but it is a Biblical mindset. They are youth pastors today, mentoring youth to do likewise.

  3. Mel says:

    I once heard a pastor give an explanation of what “the FEAR of GOD” meant in our lives:

    “To HONOR and RESPECT God with the audacity to obey” – Dr. Creflo A. Dollar

    Thought the words fit nicely with you blog Kathleen. It is a point of reference to all, and especially if you are raising pre-teens and up!

  4. Kathleen says:

    Thank you for sharing your daughter’s experience. What a blessing for them–and for you!

  5. Karen says:

    Great advice for young couples. If you want to bless your marriage, you have to start it out right following God’s plan even when it clashes with your desires. thanks Kathleen!

  6. Becky says:

    What a beautiful thing! I also have two daughters (one married and one engaged) who saved/is saving her first kiss for her wedding day. So very grateful for the Lord who works in us such convictions!

    • Kathleen says:

      Thank you, Becky. I’m sure your comment will encourage many. Yes, there are many young people we don’t hear about who want to honor God in this way–and He is blessing them abundantly!

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