A Very Sad Story

I received an email through Global Media Outreach for which I’m an online missionary. It  was from  James, a 31-year-old man in an African country.

James wrote, “I have a very sad story. All my life I looked forward to marrying a virgin because I had kept myself pure and wanted to enter marriage right.  But it didn’t happen that way. The girl I loved told me she had been sexually abused so she wasn’t a virgin.  But I loved her and we married anyway.  Now it is three years later and we have a one-year-old daughter.  I feel as if I have been cheated.  I am a victim. I’m always with a question that is unanswered, ‘Why am I different from other guys, so in my whole entire life I’ll never have a virgin.  Why me, when I was looking forward to a day that will never come?’ I can’t think of anything else.  I can’t keep it a secret any longer.  I need to speak to someone.  ~ James”

“Dear James, You do not have a problem.  You are creating a problem. It’s time to get over yourself and thank God for your family. You might have married a virgin who turned out to be an unpleasant nag.  God wants us to be content with what we have. You need to confess your sin of discontent.

“You do not have a sad story, James. Is she a good wife and mother? Thank God. Was your daughter born healthy? Thank God. Are you able to work?  Thank God.  You are blessed.

“God wants us to be thankful even for the difficulties in our life, for it shows we are trusting Him.  Trusting God is what the Christian life is all about!  When you obey God, trust and thank Him for your situation, God will then supply you with peace that will protect and guard your mind and heart.

“James, I want you to thank God that you married a non-virgin. Praise God for what He gave you.  Show God that You are trusting Him with your life.  Honor and bless your wife because she is the wife God has given you.  God will reward you.”

His response: “Okay I get the message.  I’ll thank God, try to get over it and move on.  Thank you.”

  •  …always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.         Ephesians 5:20
  •  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
  • What can Global Media Outreach do for you?  Go to  www.godlife.com

 INVITE A FRIEND by Kathleen


This life is temporary.  This life is short.  When this life is over, our bodies will die and become empty shells, but our souls will continue to live forever.  Where will the “real you” live?  Will you live for all eternity separated from God?  Or will you spend eternity in the presence of God in heaven?   Learn more so you can make your most important decision:   http://www.godlife.com/gospel/

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About Kathleen

God delights in working through His people as they submit to Him. Jesus said to go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone (Mark 16:15). No matter where we live on this planet, people are separated from God because of sin. We ALL need a Savior, and there’s only ONE. It brings me great joy to share Christ with the lost and lonely. Over the years I’ve learned a great deal while facilitating Bible studies. I’ve found myself on college and university campuses, the beach, the streets, the hospital, the jail and the juvenile facility for incarcerated teens sharing God’s message of love. I also serve as an online missionary with Global Media Outreach. I’ve seen countless lives transformed when people turn away from sin and turn to Jesus. The changes God makes are real and lasting. These are some of my experiences. NOTE: My stories have been altered, removing any and all identifying factors. This includes names and other particulars in order to protect confidentiality and anonymity.
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14 Responses to A Very Sad Story

  1. Mark L says:

    Good advice! A spirit of contentedness is a gift right up there with the Holy Spirit!

  2. Amy H says:

    Good advice, Kathleen. God can use James to help this precious girl heal from the trauma of having been sexually abused. God is the great restorer. Blessings, Amy

  3. Gattina says:

    Very good advice ! Poor innocent guy !

  4. DIXIE says:

    Hard lesson to learn in our discontentments but oh so true!!

  5. Dorothy says:

    It’s not like she chose for that to happen. Her virginity was STOLEN from her. It wasn’t her fault.

  6. Andras says:

    I think the brother needs to understand that people coming the God from the world were not sinners intentionally. He as I understand comes from a very religious background by which I mean the worst case when it is about Jesus and living with Him. Even if the girl had been a prostitute she is now COMPLETELY PURE, just as she had never been touched, by the blood of the lamb provided she got saved. There is no difference! If he has the slightest doubt about it, then he is, simply put, a religious snob who is like the Pharisee in the situation of Luke 18:10-14. For this kind of attitude many of God’s children who are drawn to Him for His unconditional love are pushed away by people in the church which is sad. I am afraid if they do not repent, and still treat the “little children” of God this way, they are the ones who might rather have a millstone on their necks at the end. God started everything from the bottom with low class, low profile, miserable people. If He does not have a problem with them, this guy should not set a higher expectation either and use his “own” purity for God and not for making himself feel better and superior.

    • Kathleen says:

      You are correct, Andras! “It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.” Luke 17:2

  7. Helene says:

    God wants us to give thanks “in” all things. He married her and knew that she had been abused – so he needs to confess his sin, ask for forgiveness and allow the Holy Spirit to guide him in to how to love her now. They are one flesh now.

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