Formula for Fixing Marriage?

As an online missionary with Global Media Outreach, I received a letter from a woman overseas.  She’d been married ten years, they have four children, but their marriage is falling apart.  They no longer speak unless it’s an argument about money.  They haven’t shared the same bed for nearly a year.

She writes, “I’m a Christian.  I love my husband and I want our marriage to be honoring to God.  Could you tell me which Bible verses to learn and how many days of fasting are necessary to save our marriage?”

I wrote, “Marriage is not easy.  We all have to work at it.  I wish it were as easy as a simple formula.  Unfortunately, it’s going to take work and prayer.

“Why do you argue about money? You said you both have jobs.  Perhaps you could suggest making up a monthly budget.  What would happen if you handed your paycheck to your husband and let him pay the bills?

“Focus more on your husband.  Listen to him.  Ephesians 5: 33 says ‘…the wife must respect her husband.’  Men need respect, especially from their wives.  Is there some way you’ve offended him, been disrespectful?  Perhaps it’s time to ask his forgiveness.  Tell him you love him and want to be a better wife.  Perhaps it’s time to begin taking walks together and holding hands.

“Try cooking his favorite meal and sitting with him while he eats.  When he looks at you, don’t look away. Maintain eye contact and smile.  Agree with him. If says black is white, don’t argue.  Just smile.  Keep praying for him.  If you are not happy, then he is not happy either.  God is going to honor your quiet and humble spirit.

“Do the little things you know he likes.  Lots of men enjoy having a neck rub.  It’s good for the children to observe little acts of kindness and affection between their parents.  Do you attend church together?  Are you raising up your children to love and obey Jesus?  This is important.”

I sent the following Bible verses to encourage her:

  • Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Ephesians 4: 2
  • The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.  Proverbs 14: 1
  • But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.   1 Corinthians 11: 3
  • Husbands, love your wives,  just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  Ephesians 5:25-27

She wrote a week later:  “I am grateful for your advice, prayer and Bible study.  We were able to settle our differences Monday night, even though there was a lot of anger and shouting.  We had a long talk and he said he wants to be a better husband.  I am seeing improvement already!  I was surprised when he asked me to take a drive with him.  Yesterday I asked him to do the ironing of clothes and he did it without complaining.  We are again sharing the same bed, which hasn’t happened in nearly a year!   I give God the glory because I see he is becoming a changed person.”

This life is temporary.  This life is short.  When this life is over, our bodies will die and become empty shells, but our souls will continue to live forever.  Where will the “real you” live?  Will you live for all eternity separated from God?  Or will you spend eternity in the presence of God in heaven?   Learn more so you can make your most important decision:  and

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About Kathleen

God delights in working through His people as they submit to Him. Jesus said to go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone (Mark 16:15). No matter where we live on this planet, people are separated from God because of sin. We ALL need a Savior, and there’s only ONE. It brings me great joy to share Christ with the lost and lonely. Over the years I’ve learned a great deal while facilitating Bible studies. I’ve found myself on college and university campuses, the beach, the streets, the hospital, the jail and the juvenile facility for incarcerated teens sharing God’s message of love. I also serve as an online missionary with Global Media Outreach. I’ve seen countless lives transformed when people turn away from sin and turn to Jesus. The changes God makes are real and lasting. These are some of my experiences. NOTE: My stories have been altered, removing any and all identifying factors. This includes names and other particulars in order to protect confidentiality and anonymity.
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