It was on a smoggy day that I received an unexpected letter from someone I loved. I wasn’t prepared for its disturbing contents which hurt deeply.
It was a letter of anger and bottled-up emotions, being vented in one huge explosion. Granted, some of the accusations were valid, but most were not. The ones that were, I felt, were merely careless oversights, the result of my insensitivity. The accusations that were not valid left me feeling confused and angry.
Why hadn’t I been told long ago? Why did she harbor her ill feelings to the point of becoming enraged? My initial response was that of self-pity and tears. Soon I’d gathered my thoughts and purposed to write a letter. I knew I needed to pray first, but I had to make it quick, because the letter had to be written now!
“Lord guide me,” was the extent of my prayer. Then I began by explaining my side, and then perceiving that she was in need of counseling (mine), I proceeded to instruct her on the fruit of the Spirit, particularly self-control, patience and gentleness. After a time, I had to leave for an appointment.
While driving, I experienced blurry eyes, not only from my tears, but from the smog. “Oh Lord!” I prayed. “I feel so low, and this smog is awful! Lord, Your Word says to come before Your presence with thanksgiving, so I suppose I should be thankful. Okay, Lord, thank You for this day, even for the smog.” And then it hit me. “Lord, do I have to thank You for the letter too? Okay, Lord, thank You for the letter. And the writer? Lord, You mean it?“
I thought for a moment. “Yes, of course! Thank You, Jesus, for showing me so clearly…through the smog.”
That evening I began my letter anew. This time the Lord would be in control: “Dear _____, Thank you for your letter. It was what I needed to bring me back down to earth. Much of what you said is true. I’m sorry for being flippant and disrespectful. Please forgive me for being insensitive. I love you.”
What peace flooded my dreams that night! Would the letter resolve the problems and rekindle our special relationship? I didn’t know. But I did know I had listened to God, and with obedience came peace.
Thank You, Jesus, for even honoring my teeth-gritting thankfulness. I love You. Amen.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
_____________
A wonderful lesson for us all. Thank you Kathleen for sharing your life with us and revealing the sensitivities that often lay dormant within hearts until the smog stirs them up. Praise God we have His word to guide and lead us in all circumstances.
Thank you! It was not an easy lesson at the time, but praise God, I learned through it.
I often have to write and re-write answers to angry emails several times – until I feel I can address the email with all humility. I have found asking for forgiveness – even when I may not be guilty – reminds me of how Jesus died in all humility and innocence. I then receive the same peace as you speak of! I’m afraid there just isn’t anything you are going to be able to do about that smog though! 🙂
Good for you, Mark! You are learning patience. I agree: asking for forgiveness, even when not guilty, is a spiritually wise thing to do.
I received a similar letter from a friend I’d known for 20 years. It was triggered by an action I’d performed which was really an act of love, but it was completely misunderstood. Her letter was a response to that action, but was also filled with other grievances, some of which I needed to hear. She was so angry she said she even considered moving to avoid running into me! I hand-wrote a response explaining my side of the story and that it was my concern for her that prompted my action. She was gracious and asked for forgiveness, and our friendship was restored.
Dear Dottie, Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. Many of our problems are simple misunderstandings. But thank God, He gives us wisdom and a desire to make things right.
First, it’s amazing how misunderstandings and harbored anger can raise their ugly head so many years later. Secondly, this experience you shared underscores what a challenge it can be to get through our initial emotional response so we can respond in a way that pleases the Lord and, consequently, gives us a sense of peace. Thanks for your willingness to share this.
Thank you, Frank. Yes, I’m learning more and more that peace comes with obedience!