Divorce: Two Selfish People

My friend Roxanne saw a lawyer and filed for divorce!  “We are two selfish people who never should have married. Greg no longer attends church and living with him has become more and more difficult.”   Married ten years, there are no children. Roxanne is a Christian and knows from the Bible that God hates divorce.

So I asked her,  “Do the problems you have with Greg cause you to spend more time on your knees, to draw closer to God and depend on Him more?”

“Yes, definitely.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             I said,  “I know a pastor with a sign on his wall that says, ‘For THIS I have Jesus.’   It’s to remind him that when life gets difficult, he’s to trust in Jesus.  Our goal in life is not to strive for happiness.  We’re to strive to be holy.  Greg needs a godly wife.  Why don’t you try praising God and thanking God that He is sufficient for your needs. Thank Him for what you DO have. He rewards us when we’re obedient.”

Roxanne began questioning herself:  “Was I really walking with Jesus in my marriage? Could Greg see Jesus in me?   According to 1 Corinthians 7:14, a husband is sanctified by his Christian wife. Was I behaving as a Christian wife?  It’s easy for me to get selfish and critical, to focus on who I think He should be.  He won’t love my Lord unless he can know Him!  I have humbly asked God to forgive me. I’m turning myself around.”

Roxanne went shopping for a birthday present for Greg and became fast friends with the saleslady. They discovered they were both Christians and both in difficult marriages. While they were visiting, Roxanne’s cell phone rang. It was her lawyer. She told him confidently, “It’s off!  I’m going to work on my marriage instead.  I believe God is in the business of taking two selfish people and changing them, one at a time.”

The saleslady smiled and said, “It DOES get better.  Keep trusting Jesus.”


[This life is temporary. This life is short.  When this life is over, our bodies will die and become empty shells, but our souls will continue to live forever.  Where will the “real you” live?  Will you live for all eternity separated from God?  Or will you spend eternity in the presence of God in heaven?   Learn more so you can make your most important decision:   http://www.godlife.com/gospel/  and  http://www.godlife.com/en/about-christianity

About Kathleen

God delights in working through His people as they submit to Him. Jesus said to go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone (Mark 16:15). No matter where we live on this planet, people are separated from God because of sin. We ALL need a Savior, and there’s only ONE. It brings me great joy to share Christ with the lost and lonely. Over the years I’ve learned a great deal while facilitating Bible studies. I’ve found myself on college and university campuses, the beach, the streets, the hospital, the jail and the juvenile facility for incarcerated teens sharing God’s message of love. I also serve as an online missionary with Global Media Outreach. I’ve seen countless lives transformed when people turn away from sin and turn to Jesus. The changes God makes are real and lasting. These are some of my experiences. NOTE: My stories have been altered, removing any and all identifying factors. This includes names and other particulars in order to protect confidentiality and anonymity.
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10 Responses to Divorce: Two Selfish People

  1. Karen says:

    “Our goal in life is not to strive for happiness. We’re to strive to be holy.” My goodness! Christians need to hear this message over and over again! Happiness isn’t the point. Follow Jesus is!

  2. David says:

    Very good Kathleen, I live with the question of whether I could have prevented my divorce. I hope others reading this will let GOD heal their marriages.

  3. Susan says:

    About a decade ago my husband and I were at odds with each other. Life wasn’t very satisfying. I asked for prayer in my women’s Bible study. Later my leader told me about a Christian counselor she felt could help us turn things around. We went and she determined it was how we communicated. With her help we turned things around in 4 sessions and things have been so much better. We have been married 45 years. Praise God! He will always lead us in the right direction.

    • Kathleen says:

      Dear Susan,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I believe most married couples are “at odds” with one another from time to time. Instead of running from our problems, it’s a time to turn to God and trust Him to turn things around. He is faithful.

  4. Mark says:

    amen – praise the Lord

  5. Mel says:

    “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way than to be to be happy in”–your husband? your wife?–no, to be happy in JESUS, but to trust and obey.” Couples who are having difficulties in their marriages, often are disappointed over issues of unhappiness. ex.: money, sex, success, etc. But the lyrics to the old hymn remind us of where our trust should always be. Having a PLAN “B” will distract oneself from PLAN “A”.” by Will Smith. What do I know? I’ve been married over 50 years.

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