Don’t Divorce!

I’ve known my young friend “Jacqui” since before her marriage.  She has a loving husband who is a devoted father to their children.  Jacqui is also very beautiful.  She recently received a substantial inheritance, but she’s unhappy.  She claims she no longer loves her husband and wants a divorce.  She’s never been willing to discuss spiritual things.  I decided to write a letter:

Dear Jacqui,   I was saddened to learn that you were considering divorce.   I want to tell you about another friend who divorced her first husband after having two children.  She married again and had two more children.  Several times I’ve heard her say,  “Divorce was not the answer!  I have just as many problems with my second husband as I did with my first!  Moreover, I now have two sets of kids, and my first husband is still in my life because we share our children.”

People say children are resilient:  “They’ll adjust.  Besides, today there are so many kids from broken homes they won’t feel they are missing out.”

It’s not true.  Kids are resilient on the outside.  They adjust on the outside.  But their hearts will yearn for their parents to be together again.  Your children will observe friends from intact families and they will know they are missing out.

We’ve heard that a child’s security comes from knowing their parents love them.  That’s only partly true.  A child’s real security comes in knowing their parents love each other.

What is love?  I appreciated author J. Budziszewski’s definition:  “Love is a commitment of the will to the true good of another person.”   And I will add:  Love does not always depend on feelings.  Love is a choice.  Love is something you do.

I too was once tempted to escape from marriage and enjoy freedom…and a new life.  But it was my faith in Christ that kept me obedient.  I’m so glad now that I WAS obedient.  Looking back, those times I thought would never get better, are gone.  God was faithful to my obedience.   He’ll be faithful to yours, as well.

This life is short.  This life has a purpose.  This life is a test and I want to pass the test.  I want my kids to pass the test.  This life may be short, but Jacqui, eternity is forever.

We each have a soul and that soul is the life inside our body.  Once our body dies our soul will continue to live.  The most important question is:  Where will your soul live?  Many believe that if they are good they will go to heaven.

Being good or bad has nothing to do with it.  Because nobody is good enough for heaven.  We all need a Savior to save us from eternal separation from God.  We all need a Savior and there is only ONE.

There are two kinds of people:  those who will be saved in the next life and those who will not.   But as far as I know,  I don’t believe you’ve ever come to know the Lord Jesus, nor the joy, peace and purpose that only He can provide.

There WILL be a time when you wake up and realize you’ve made some serious mistakes and you need God in your life.  Don’t wait, Jacqui.

When we come to the end of our lives, the only question that matters to God is,  “What did you do with Jesus?”  When you are ready to investigate the God life, you might check out this site:  www.godlife.com

I love you!   Kathleen

This life is temporary.  This life is short.  When this life is over, our bodies will die and become empty shells, but our souls will continue to live forever.  Where will the “real you” live?  Will you live for all eternity separated from God?  Or will you spend eternity in the presence of God in heaven?   Learn more so you can make your most important decision:   http://www.godlife.com/gospel/  and  http://www.godlife.com/en/about-christianity

[To leave a comment or prayer request, simply click on the TITLE of this post and scroll to the bottom.]

About Kathleen

God delights in working through His people as they submit to Him. Jesus said to go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone (Mark 16:15). No matter where we live on this planet, people are separated from God because of sin. We ALL need a Savior, and there’s only ONE. It brings me great joy to share Christ with the lost and lonely. Over the years I’ve learned a great deal while facilitating Bible studies. I’ve found myself on college and university campuses, the beach, the streets, the hospital, the jail and the juvenile facility for incarcerated teens sharing God’s message of love. I also serve as an online missionary with Global Media Outreach. I’ve seen countless lives transformed when people turn away from sin and turn to Jesus. The changes God makes are real and lasting. These are some of my experiences. NOTE: My stories have been altered, removing any and all identifying factors. This includes names and other particulars in order to protect confidentiality and anonymity.
This entry was posted in DOCTRINE, Love & Romance, RAISING KIDS and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Don’t Divorce!

  1. Kristy A says:

    Excellent letter, Kathleen!
    God Bless you!

  2. Matthew C says:

    That’s really good! For Christian marriages we must be loving our spouse with an agape love, which is not dependent on feelings.

  3. Dan B says:

    I have experienced the damage that this did in my family, thank you for your boldness in handling this difficult subject

    • Kathleen says:

      I’m sorry, Dan, that you had to experience the damage that results from divorce. Sadly, it’s far too prevalent today and countless innocent children are suffering.

  4. MEL T. says:

    Great advise in this piece, Kathleen. Made me turn to what Jesus explained to the Pharisees as they were trying to find a weakness in Him in order to test Him: “Is it lawful…to dismiss…DIVORCE his wife?” For the next 10 verses in Mark 10, Jesus addresses the topic, not only to the religious, but to His disciples as well. DIVORCE, as you know, is not just a condition found in the unbeliever’s life. It seems to be prevalent within the Church, as well, but seldom discussed and I don’t know why. So thank you for giving such a concise dialogue on the topic. I look forward to sharing your blog.

    • Kathleen says:

      Thank you for your comment, Mel. I agree that divorce is seldom discussed in the Church. Sometimes it seems the seriousness of marriage and the consequences for children are only lightly considered.

  5. fking1371 says:

    Kathleen, that is some good godly counsel. Excellent points on the extent to which children can/will adjust when mom and dad are no longer together.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.