Please Tell me: Is This Sin?

Alabama, a 15-year-old girl in an African country wrote via

“Dear Kathleen, Please tell me:  Is this sin?  There is this white guy in my class.  I admire him so much that each time I look at him,  I wish he felt the same way about me.  I wonder if we are made for each other.  I even had a dream about him.  Is it wrong in front of God to feel something real for him? I keep asking myself if liking him so much is wrong.  Please help me with an answer for this.”

“Dear Alabama, You are attracted to a guy.  This is normal.  These temptations will likely occur your entire life.  As long as there are good-looking, desirable guys around, there will be temptation.  Yet as Christians, we have boundaries.  We also have the Holy Spirit who provides us with wisdom and self-control.

“If this guy does feel the same way toward you as you do toward him, it could lead to trouble at your young age.  As a follower of Jesus,  you will want to wait until marriage before having any sexual contact with a guy.  This is difficult, especially today when many are outspoken and accepting of sex outside marriage.  Yet, premarital sex is NOT okay.

“Read Revelation 21:8 and see what the Bible says about sexual immorality.  The Bible has not changed. God has not changed.

“Someday after you marry, you may still see other guys you find attractive.  What will you do then? You will choose NOT to spend any more time with them than necessary.  The more time you spend with someone you are attracted to, the more difficult it will be not to sin.

“My suggestion for you is to give thanks to God that He has created you with normal desires.  Thank God that you can trust Him to put a godly man into your life someday, someone whom you will marry and together serve God.”

Then I wrote out this prayer for Alabama: “Lord God, I lift up my friend Alabama before Your throne of grace. You know her heart yearns to do right.  She wants to please You with her life.  Please give her great wisdom. Give her Your self-control to do the right thing. Give her Your patience to wait for the right godly young man to marry someday. Meanwhile, help her draw closer to You.  Help her get involved in a Christian youth group or small group Bible study where young people can pray together and be accountable to one another.  I thank You, in advance, for what You are going to do in Alabama’s life.  I pray in the precious name of Jesus, Amen.”

“Alabama, I have a two websites you might find helpful:  and  Check them out and let me know what you think.   ~ Kathleen”

Alabama wrote back:  “OK, I understand.  I will pray to God to help me overcome this temptation and do the right thing.   I like the websites you sent.  They are cool.”

  • But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur.  This is the second death.     Revelation 21:8


This life is temporary. This life is short.  When this life is over, our bodies will die and become empty shells, but our souls will continue to live forever.  Where will the “real you” live?  Will you live for all eternity separated from God?  Or will you spend eternity in the presence of God in heaven?   Learn more so you can make your most important decision:  and

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About Kathleen

God delights in working through His people as they submit to Him. Jesus said to go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone (Mark 16:15). No matter where we live on this planet, people are separated from God because of sin. We ALL need a Savior, and there’s only ONE. It brings me great joy to share Christ with the lost and lonely. Over the years I’ve learned a great deal while facilitating Bible studies. I’ve found myself on college and university campuses, the beach, the streets, the hospital, the jail and the juvenile facility for incarcerated teens sharing God’s message of love. I also serve as an online missionary with Global Media Outreach. I’ve seen countless lives transformed when people turn away from sin and turn to Jesus. The changes God makes are real and lasting. These are some of my experiences. NOTE: My stories have been altered, removing any and all identifying factors. This includes names and other particulars in order to protect confidentiality and anonymity.
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